greetings from TN

Happy Monday? Well, right now I am playing house wife. I was injured on August 2, 2010 and have been unable to work. My wonderful fiance is working two jobs to keep us afloat and we are finally starting to catch up with the finances! I am starting to feel as if I am not contributing enough. I do keep the house clean, dishes washed and laundry done, but I don't feel like I am helping. He acts as if I am, but I don't feel like I am. I am helping some friends by helping with their after school when they have to work late, but I want a real job. Unfortunately I have no car right now. Maybe one of these days anpther will come my way, but for now I am having to borrow one for Chris to get to work, or to go to the grocery store. All in all I am happy being here. I love being with Chris, love state of TN, love my little home and our new addition (kittie named Patches)so, I guess that is what is most important. Blog more soon!

Welcome me back!

I am back... starting off slowly and working my way (fingers crossed) to posting again full time! I have lots of new changes in my life. Some new adventures. Some good, some not so. I am no longer in Florida. Now located in Tennessee! I will add some new up dates soon! :)

Look, I didn't fall off the face of the earth

Wow, So I haven't been on here since December. I almost forgot my log in information. The year seems to be flying by.I can't believe June is half over and I am still stuck in January. Not much has changed. The guy and I are still together, work is still work and I am still me. I did get to see My Tracy about a week ago. That was wonderful! It had been 2 years since we have seen each other and she was just as beautiful as always! I also got to see her awesome family. They always make me feel so welcome!(Especially Tracy's Mommy she is so great!!) :) Ms. Jenna brought her best friend Ms. Cat with her
I am so happy to gotten to see them all.... even if it was brief!

Where did the year go?

I can't believe that it is almost over. I don't know where the year has gone. I have been out of town more than I have been home. I feel, at times, like I don't even have a home. I live out of a suit case most of the time. I want to be home for a while. I want to have a normal nine to five job. I just love what I do. Even if it stresses me out, at times, beyond belief. I was having a conversation with my boyfriend today and when he asked me how my day was going/what I was working on.... it dawned on me. I mean... who can come home and say "I built a tree today" or "I worked on some really huge tentacles for a Giant Man-o-war"? I have a really interesting, creative, fun job. I just wish I could enjoy it more without being so tired or stressed! So, where did the year go? Did I leave it in another state... did it just slip away without even noticing? I don't know. Maybe next year will be different or who knows maybe it will all be one big blur out of the wind shield in front of me, but I guess if it goes by with happiness and love... who cares!

Update from last post

Well, We talked. I think everything will be alright. I listened to what he had to say... then I said what was on my mind. I reminded him of the things we talked about when we decided to start down this path. I am much happier now. Hopefully this is what he truelly wants. I guess only time will tell.

I just don't know

People have been asking me how Mike and I are doing and I have been saying good. Tonight that has changed. I don't know how we are doing. I went into this with total honesty in mind. we talked, I told him what I wanted... what I expected. I thought I was finally going to be happy again... I thought I was finally gonna get what I deserved. Well, maybe this means that I don't deserve to be happy.
Almost 9 years ago I lost the one person who I thought I was going to spend my life with. He passed away suddenly. It was hard. It still is. I have had a few relationships since then. Each has failed. Each has broken a piece of me, leaving me to feel incomplete. I thought this time would be different. I guess I was wrong. I guess I was just seeing what I wanted. I had this bad feeling in which I ignored. I should have questioned it. I should have listened to that little voice. Now I am just left confused and hurt.
I don't know if we are through, but I don't think I can trust him right now. We need to talk when there aren't any substances changing reality. I need answers. I need to be able to think and work this out. I am angry and full of disdain.

No, I have nothing to say

I haven't been on here a whole lot... I'm sure you have noticed. I haven't had anything to say.
I have been out of town some more, and will be traveling more very soon.
Tonight was Punky's (my niece) birthday party. It was fun. We had lots of good food and of course her favorite part... cake and presents! She looked too cute in her pretty pink "princess" dress.
I think I need some motivation... something to write about... so topics. My brain is blocked! HELP!