Look, I didn't fall off the face of the earth

Wow, So I haven't been on here since December. I almost forgot my log in information. The year seems to be flying by.I can't believe June is half over and I am still stuck in January. Not much has changed. The guy and I are still together, work is still work and I am still me. I did get to see My Tracy about a week ago. That was wonderful! It had been 2 years since we have seen each other and she was just as beautiful as always! I also got to see her awesome family. They always make me feel so welcome!(Especially Tracy's Mommy she is so great!!) :) Ms. Jenna brought her best friend Ms. Cat with her
I am so happy to gotten to see them all.... even if it was brief!

Where did the year go?

I can't believe that it is almost over. I don't know where the year has gone. I have been out of town more than I have been home. I feel, at times, like I don't even have a home. I live out of a suit case most of the time. I want to be home for a while. I want to have a normal nine to five job. I just love what I do. Even if it stresses me out, at times, beyond belief. I was having a conversation with my boyfriend today and when he asked me how my day was going/what I was working on.... it dawned on me. I mean... who can come home and say "I built a tree today" or "I worked on some really huge tentacles for a Giant Man-o-war"? I have a really interesting, creative, fun job. I just wish I could enjoy it more without being so tired or stressed! So, where did the year go? Did I leave it in another state... did it just slip away without even noticing? I don't know. Maybe next year will be different or who knows maybe it will all be one big blur out of the wind shield in front of me, but I guess if it goes by with happiness and love... who cares!

Update from last post

Well, We talked. I think everything will be alright. I listened to what he had to say... then I said what was on my mind. I reminded him of the things we talked about when we decided to start down this path. I am much happier now. Hopefully this is what he truelly wants. I guess only time will tell.

I just don't know

People have been asking me how Mike and I are doing and I have been saying good. Tonight that has changed. I don't know how we are doing. I went into this with total honesty in mind. we talked, I told him what I wanted... what I expected. I thought I was finally going to be happy again... I thought I was finally gonna get what I deserved. Well, maybe this means that I don't deserve to be happy.
Almost 9 years ago I lost the one person who I thought I was going to spend my life with. He passed away suddenly. It was hard. It still is. I have had a few relationships since then. Each has failed. Each has broken a piece of me, leaving me to feel incomplete. I thought this time would be different. I guess I was wrong. I guess I was just seeing what I wanted. I had this bad feeling in which I ignored. I should have questioned it. I should have listened to that little voice. Now I am just left confused and hurt.
I don't know if we are through, but I don't think I can trust him right now. We need to talk when there aren't any substances changing reality. I need answers. I need to be able to think and work this out. I am angry and full of disdain.

No, I have nothing to say

I haven't been on here a whole lot... I'm sure you have noticed. I haven't had anything to say.
I have been out of town some more, and will be traveling more very soon.
Tonight was Punky's (my niece) birthday party. It was fun. We had lots of good food and of course her favorite part... cake and presents! She looked too cute in her pretty pink "princess" dress.
I think I need some motivation... something to write about... so topics. My brain is blocked! HELP!

Yes, I am still alive

It has been forever since I have posted anything. I have been busy, so sue me.
I ordered a costume for Halloween, I took the easy way out.
I don't feel like I have time for much these days. I am leaving again in a week to go out of town for work and probably won't be home until just before Thanksgiving. I am getting run down.
I have been seeing a chiropractor for some pain I have been having. It is almost fixed and now with the impending trip, I fear it will return.
Mike and I are still together. Still happy. I have been enjoying my time with him. He seems to make my worries and troubles disappear. Even if only for the weekend.
I hope everyone has a good Monday.

A day with Punky

I spent the day with my Niece (Punky). We had a blast. Of course we didn't do anything that I had planned out (with the exception of lunch), but we had fun.
She has grown so much. And what a smart little cookie she has become. Almost 2 years old.
She was sitting in the living room, in her highchair coloring, with my mom and she noticed that I wasn't there anymore. So, she looks at my Mom ans says, clear as day, "Where did Chelle go?" My mom told her I was on the back porch. So, she craned her little neck so hard to try and see me. I thought that was awesome.